Rapport is the connection between two people; the spoken and unspoken words that say ‘we are on the same page’. It is the art of making someone feel comfortable and accepted which leads to a sense of trust. To create rapport, we need to know how to connect with others regardless of their age, gender, ethnic background, mood, or the situation.
This skill is never more important than in an interview, you never get a second chance to make a great first impression and your future career opportunities depend on that impression. Creating a connection with your interviewer is likely to have a large impact on whether or not they wish to do business with you – so learning the skill of creating good rapport should be one of your priorities as an interviewee.
We tend to be attracted to people that we consider similar to ourselves. When rapport is good, similarities are emphasised and differences are minimised. Rapport is an essential basis for successful communication – where there is no rapport there is no (real) communication! We naturally experience rapport with close friends or with those with whom we share a common interest and ultimately trust. However we can learn to create rapport and use it to facilitate our relationship with anybody, even with those with whom we profoundly disagree.
We tend to be attracted to people that we consider similar to ourselves. When rapport is good, similarities are emphasised and differences are minimised.
In an interview situation you can employ numerous techniques to maximise the rapport between yourself and your interviewer.
Whether we like it not, judgements are made about us by the way we look, the way we dress, our expressions and our posture. These decisions will usually be made within the first few seconds of meeting with you. Even before you speak, your interviewer will be absorbing non-verbal clues about you. You will be judged by how you stand, how you walk, how you shake hands, how you smile, and how you sit.
The way you present yourself can help influence a person’s impression of you. People generally want to align with those who are positive, confident and passionate so it's important to act with confidence and presence in how you dress and how you act, while being appropriate for the environment you are in.
Focus on the interviewer as a person and your overall attitude is likely to become more genuine. When you first meet a prospective employer, visualise that person as an important guest in your home. Naturally then, you will be glad to see them, and you want to make them feel welcome and at ease. Your overall goal should be to understand them rather than expecting them to understand you, which requires asking questions. Harvard University research has shown that people who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.
people who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.
However, don't be too friendly too quickly, or you may appear false. Instead, hold yourself back, and increase your level of curiosity as you progress. Remember to:
Watch two people who have good rapport. You will notice a sense of unison in their body language and the way they talk. Matching and mirroring is when you deliberately take on someone else’s style of behaviour in order to create rapport – a way of becoming highly tuned to another person. If done well, this can be a very powerful technique for building rapport in an interview. To do this, you will need to match:
You will not need to mirror the other person for longer then a few moments. Once they become comfortable with you, you can actually start leading the nonverbal communication, and then they’ll start following you. When this is achieved, you can consider a good rapport has been built. You should not attempt mirroring if someone becomes angry. In that situation, you wouldn’t mirror anger; you’d instead express concern.
A word of caution, matching and mirroring must be carried out in a subtle way. If the process intrudes into the other person's conscious awareness they may become uncomfortable and non-verbal. Rapport using the sound of your voice and your eye contact pattern is the quickest and most useful way to begin – copying gestures should be used rarely. Don’t mirror the person exactly; just similarly. So, if the other person is sitting with arms folded across their chest, you may have yours crossed on your lap. That prevents people from thinking they’re being imitated.
Take time to practice this technique prior to your interview until you can use it easily without thinking. That's all there is to it – keen observation and practice.
For more insights and practical tips on mirroring click here.
While interviews are the focus here, rapport is a hugely important skill that should be developed to support your professional progression. Business leaders for example, are always in situations where building instant rapport is a key attribute to delivering success, be it convincing stakeholders, winning new business, negotiate deals or network on behalf of the company. These situations can be difficult to navigate and building rapport will dramatically increase the odds of a successful outcome.
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